Spontaneous combustion

When I was interviewed for my present job, I was asked if I was a spontaneous person or more of a planner. At the time, I didn’t know so I blurted out something or other about being a mixture of the two. I have realised since that I am naturally spontaneous but have learnt how to plan when planning is the order of the day. I believe that this is because I am more driven by feeling than thinking. This can be a problem because I often find myself blurting out things before I have thought them through. The only exception to this is in a meeting situation. Then, I become very introverted and quiet. I annoy myself on these occasions and wonder why in certain contexts I can be so different. Perhaps it is the formal nature of meetings in general. The rules that govern them. The hierarchies that exist within them.

I find it easier to write down my thoughts than to express them verbally. I would rather send an email than phone someone. I use my blog to collect my thoughts. I sit at my computer and type and seeing the words, seeing my thoughts on a screen is a therapy of sorts. It clarifies things. I write not to communicate to others but to think – possibly because I am a visual person. I have always found comfort in words. Basically I am a geek! Having written all of this, it would seem that I am more of a planner than I thought in relation to communication. This makes sense because communication is all about conveying thought, words are a vocalisation of thought and as such are planned. When it comes to action however, to making choices and reacting to situations, I am spontaneous. I take joy in being spontaneous. Of feeling my way into jobs, places, days and events. Often in the morning, when I walk to work, I feel an urge to do something – to sing out loud, walk in zig zags, skip, run, hop and I do it (normally when I know that noone is around – I am not a walking, hopping, skipping exhibit!).

I guess there is a need for both in everyone’s life. We need order and formality. We need routine and rules but every now and again, we need spontaneity to break through and sometimes, we need to break a rule or two!